Spiritual Growth and The Crooked Path

jimhlifecoach
2 minutes ago
24 min read

Spirits Are Using Me. Larger Voices Calling - from Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, & Nash

In my first book, Along the Crooked Path, I stated that “everyone’s journey is a spiritual journey, whether you recognize that or not.” I am calling that an undeniable truth. I truly believe it is, and everything that I write about flows from that truth.

What is a spiritual journey? I define it as a process of moving from unconscious living to

conscious alignment with something greater than yourself. It is deeply personal and a lifelong process of searching for meaning, purpose, and becoming the highest version of yourself. It involves moving beyond surface-level, everyday existence to traveling inwards to explore and discover who you are and cultivate a connection to a higher power. To one's own soul-level truth.

Just in case I am about to lose you, it is not about adopting a religion. It is not about becoming more religious. I discussed some of the negative connotations that religion can have with people earlier. A spiritual journey is about becoming more awake. Again, a process of moving from unconscious living to conscious alignment.

It is the gradual shift from reacting to responding. From dismissing to reflecting. From ego-driven to truth-driven. From fear to faith. From external validation to internal alignment. It is the journey of asking... Who am I? What is true? Why am I here? Where am I going? What is calling me and how do I live in alignment with that?

And if a spiritual journey is the path, then spiritual growth is what happens to you as you walk the path. Spiritual growth can look like increased humility, greater responsibility, clearer discernment, more inner peace, less blaming, more ownership, deeper compassion, and stronger alignment with truth. It is not perfection. It is not constant butterflies and rainbows. It is about becoming less controlled by your impulses and triggers and becoming more anchored in truth.

If Spiritual Journey is the Path, Spiritual Growth is the Result

All of this brings different themes to mind such as freedom to choose, taking responsibility, facing our fears, stepping into discomfort, and owning our paths. It reminds me of purpose, the search for true north, and being led and guided by something that is much bigger or greater than ourselves. All of these are themes I have touched on and will continue to do so.

Spiritual growth is the ongoing process of aligning your thoughts, choices, and life direction with undeniable truths and the Source behind those truths. And here I said way back in the beginning of my writing that my first book, Along the Crooked Path, “is not a book about God.” But then I go on to mention God at least seven times in the prologue of that book alone. And I have referred to God here and there ever since. So full confession and full disclosure... My books may not be about God, but they have a lot to do with God. At least for me, and maybe for some of you as well.

I regard the source of undeniable truths to be God, and that He is our Creator and has instilled great purpose in each of us. That is my path and my belief system. It is what I have come to believe. That belief system has been in me all along. It has just been buried. But I am not here to convince you of that. This is something that you must come to understand on your own. That there is something outside of us... God, Source, The Universe... That is leading us and guiding us to the highest version of ourselves

Spiritual growth is not for the faint of heart. There is work to be done. Much of it is inner

work. It is not just speaking a different language... Buzzwords, platitudes, or affirmations. It is not just doing good deeds and the appearance of being enlightened. Spiritual growth is no more blaming or waiting to be rescued. Spiritual growth is a path of intention and taking responsibility. At its core, a spiritual journey is a movement away from “Life is happening to me” to “Life is shaping me,” and then you taking responsibility for how you respond.

It is a movement from performance to presence, and from doing to being. So many of us are caught up in the hustle culture of repeating old patterns and stressing and striving. We need to free ourselves from that and hear this truth... That just because something is normal for us, even if it is culturally celebrated within our circles... That doesn’t mean that it is good. Our spiritual journey requires us to take the time to be fully present with ourselves so we can listen to what our soul is saying. What our soul is whispering to us. Many of us have false identities that influence our reality. The problem for most of us is that we don’t have our identities tied to undeniable truths. And that causes us to be distracted, anxious, and to settle.

Aligning with undeniable truths will require you to give something up. Not only will your new path cost you your old one. Your new life will cost you your old one. You cannot walk as the old version of you and expect anything different in your life other than what you have been getting. You can’t expect to achieve or manifest the great things that are waiting for you. You have to change, shift, and alter your frequency to match those things. Otherwise, those things will continue to stay beyond your reach. This doesn’t have to be a massive change all at once. More likely it is small, significant shifts that take place as you move forward. The cost of embodying your authentic energy as you walk towards your true north and your higher self, will be letting go of your lower self that you have been masked as for so long.

None Of Us Are Exempt From The Need to Learn Our Lessons

None of us are exempt from the need to learn the necessary lessons, and to do the work that we need to do to move forward and heal. The reward is huge, and when you look back, the cost will seem so insignificant. One of the greatest shifts in awakening is when you move your focus from what others think to what your soul and heart ask you to do. Life isn’t about becoming someone else. It is about unbecoming everything that you are not, so that the real you can finally breathe. If we are not being intentionally formed by undeniable truths, then it is highly likely that we are being unintentionally formed by someone or something else.

Some people will disagree, and maybe feel triggered, when I say everyone being on a spiritual journey is an undeniable truth. And I believe that resistance may be because we define “spiritual” differently. Some people may say that they are not spiritual and certainly are not on a spiritual journey. They are simply living according to common sense and reason. And that in itself can be argued to be a spiritual framework. But stay with me... Any pushback may simply be semantic.

The label of spiritual journey matters less than what is actually happening underneath. If you strip away religion, rituals, and anything mystical, a spiritual framework is basically how someone makes sense of reality, what they believe is true, how they decide what matters, and what guides their choices and behavior. Really it is one's operating system for life. When someone says that they simply live according to common sense, logic, reason, and what makes sense, then all of that is acting as their highest authority. Whatever guides you, functions as your "god".

Even if you reject the word spiritual, you are still seeking truth, trying to live in alignment with your reality, and using a consistent lens to navigate life. These are all fundamental spiritual pursuits... Just without the language that may be associated with religion. Still, I would argue that reason is a powerful tool, but not always the best compass.

So, even those who claim to be ‘non-spiritual’ are still living within a framework that defines truth, guides their choices, and shapes their path. Whether that framework is built on faith, tradition, or reason, the question is not whether you have one—but whether it is aligned with reality and leading you where you truly want to go.

Everyone Is On A Journey Of Alignment Towards Truth or Away from It.

I believe that every human being is either on a journey of alignment towards truth, or away from it, whether we are conscious of it or not. But let's reframe that in a way that may be more relatable to some. Every person is orienting their lives around something ultimate. Whether we call that spiritual or not... That thing that we are orienting our life around or toward shapes our direction and our destiny.

No one is neutral. Everyone is trusting something, depending on something, interpreting

life through something, and drawing strength from something. And that something becomes their source. Not everyone practices a religion, but everyone is orienting their life around something that is ultimate. That is simply human reality. So, to semi-conclude... I have come to see that every human life is a spiritual journey. Not necessarily religious — but spiritual in the sense that we are all orienting our lives around something we believe will give us safety, direction, judgment, and strength. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are aligning ourselves with a source.

In his book, The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck states that in order for our lives to be healthy and for our spirits to grow, we need a dedication to the truth. A dedication to reality. He states, “that which is false, is unreal.” And the more clearly that we see the reality, or truth, of the world the better equipped we will be to deal with the world. I will refine that and say the better equipped we will be to move aligned along our paths. The less clearly that we see the reality of the world, or the truth of the world, the more that we will be confused by deception, untruths, misunderstandings, fantasy, and downright lies. And the more that we will be misaligned, not being able to determine the best course of action or make the best decisions for our lives.

Peck says that “our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life.”

In my book, Back On The Crooked Path, I talked about maps and compared them to compasses. A map provides a visual representation of an area. And if we can pinpoint where we are on the map, and if the map is true and accurate (as Peck says), and we use our compass to know which direction we want to go in, we can use the map as a guide, and generally we will get to where we want to go. That is what we can expect from a map that is based on truth. But if the map is inaccurate or untrue, out of date, or unclear, then we will be lost.

And this is something that many people are unaware of, or they ignore. For the most part, people don’t deny the truth because they are evil, bad, or ignorant in any way. They deny the truth, or undeniable truths, because truths are disruptive.

The truth you might be running from is so small. But it's as big as the promise... The promise of the coming day. - from Southern Cross by Crosby, Stills, and Nash

Truths are disruptive in the following ways -

Truth Threatens Identity – If a truth challenges who a person believes themselves to be, they will instinctively resist it. Truths can feel destructive if you have built your identity around being right, being successful, being self-sufficient, feeling morally superior or untouchable, or even being a victim and feeling sorry for yourself.

To these people, the truth isn’t just information. It is demolition. The ego’s job is survival. And the ego will defend a story, even if the story is hurting us. When someone is ego-driven, they are in their minds and not their soul. They focus on what is logical and rational to them, and not necessarily the truth. Their minds split things dichotomously. They categorize things as right or wrong. Good or bad. Their own truths or someone else’s untruths or lies. This helps them make sense of things and feel safe. The truth threatens who they are and what they stand for.

Truth Demands Responsibility – I have stated that the truth does not need our agreement. The truth just is. The truth implies a number of things, such as

You played a role in this
You may need to change
You can’t blame them anymore
You are responsible
You can and must do better

And that can be heavy. It is easier to deny the truth than to accept the responsibility that comes with it.

Truth Disrupts Comfort – We are wired for psychological safety. If anything triggers us or makes our nervous system dysregulated, we will do our best to avoid it. And if accepting a truth requires us to step outside of our comfort zone and as a result face opposition, lose approval, break off relationships, shift our careers, stand up for ourselves, or question long-held beliefs, that is when our nervous system reads that as danger. Denial becomes an excuse or a coping mechanism.

Truth Exposes Pain – The truth will reveal broken or dysfunctional relationships, suppressed emotional wounds, uncomfortable feelings, and areas where you are misaligned. Things that we have been denying. To acknowledge the truth, you have to feel those things that you have been denying. And people will tolerate years of misalignment, if it helps them avoid any grief or pain.

Truth Threatens the Need to Belong – Your new life will cost you your old life. And belonging often has a higher gravitational pull than the truth. Accepting the truth may isolate us from family, friends, our faith community, our culture, and others in our circle. Fear of losing these connections causes many to settle and choose belonging over alignment.

Many of us simply normalize dysfunction. We justify the status quo. We adapt to misalignment and that is simply the way things are and the way we are. It just feels normal. And we continue to get the same results in our life.

The passageway and the route to undeniable truth is not easy. It takes effort and many are

not prepared to make the effort. Committing to truth means letting old illusions die, surrendering old stories and narratives and moving into discomfort, and choosing growth over ego. It is a denial of the truth because of what it costs. And here is the paradox... We think that denying the truth protects us. But the reality is that over time, denying the truth breaks us.

Denying the truth creates a fundamental disconnect between who we think we are and the external reality. It separates us from our soul. It can lead to psychological, emotional, and functional damage in our lives, and act as a heavy burden that, while providing temporary comfort or protection, can force us to live in a state of constant and unsustainable effort in order to maintain a false narrative.

Consider what might happen to someone as they have lived their lives, and as they have worked long and hard and have developed. And through their experiences... Good, bad or indifferent... The highs and the lows... The meetings and the partings... The lens through which they view the world has been chiseled and shaped, and they have forged a worldview that is useful and makes sense to them. And then along comes someone or something... An experience or a situation that they are confronted with on their path... That provides them with new information or an opposing view that challenges their view and their belief system. Maybe it causes or encourages them to question the view that they have held for so long. The views that have held their world together and helped them make sense of things.

The thought that they might be living a lie or be misaligned in even some small ways could be devastating and painful. And especially the possibility that because of any misalignment, they need to take responsibility for their role in why things have not played out the way they would have liked so far on their paths. Taking responsibility for their role in relationship breakdowns, missed opportunities, or family dysfunction. What many people do in these situations is ignore the new information. They ignore the truth. And in this case, it could simply be the truth that people see the world differently than we do, through our own lenses, and that we can both be correct. Or even more challenging is the possibility that someone else’s worldview may be more accurate than ours. That theirs is closer to the actual reality. The undeniable truth.

Sometimes the ignoring is passive. We are presented with the new information and we disregard it. We write it off. We file it. We don’t give it the time of day and we move on. Other times it might trigger us. It is not uncommon for two people with differing or opposing views to get into an argument. Often a heated argument. Our opposition to the new information or opposing view may be overt or forceful. We wear our hearts on our sleeves, and we make our feelings known. Stating that any new information is wrong, and even outrageous or crazy. We resist it and dig even deeper into our own version of the truth. We dig in our heals.

Rather than changing or adjusting our way of seeing things, or even remaining open to influence, not only do we disregard any new information... We put it down. We belittle it. We disparage, trivialize, and make light of it. And, as a result, we miss any opportunity for us to learn and grow and perhaps have a more expansive view of the world, reality, and the truth. We waste more energy defending a misaligned, skewed, or obsolete mindset than we would have if we had considered and integrated any of the new information presented to us and then grew as a result.

Our unique ability as humans to be able to learn, grow, develop, change and transform is reflected in our spirituality. Stating the obvious, we are not all at the same place spiritually. And many have made attempts to explain this.

There are deep thinkers that have developed theories or models meant to explain stages of spiritual growth and development for us as human beings that are living in this spiritual world. They have been made in an effort to map out, display, and explain the evolution of an individual’s inner life. An inner life that is largely unseen. They are attempts to provide a framework to understand a person's spiritual state. Where they are spiritually. To measure where they are, where they have been, and perhaps where they might be going. They are helpful in assisting someone in understanding their current state and even understand any struggles they might be having and then provide a roadmap for developing deeper awareness and intimacy with their soul, the highest and most aligned version of themselves, and / or a higher power.

They are useful in mapping one’s journey. Most models are continuums or sequential stages that you might move through. As with any continuum, there can be back and forth movement between stages. Models can simply describe where you are and help normalize your feelings and your experiences and explain why things are the way they are. The emphasis is on growth or development, which implies that each successive stage is more expansive than the one before it.

The model or explanation I like because of its simplicity and my familiarity with his work, is that again of M. Scott Peck. He provides a four-stage model that he refers to in several of his books, but in the most depth in his book, A Different Drum. His four stages are as follows...

Stage 1 – Chaotic / Anti-Social –

This is the most basic and unadvanced stage. People in this stage may be secular or non-religious. Many may say they are religious, but they tend to have a belief system that is superficial and used selectively. Individuals at this stage can be varying degrees of self-centered or self-focused and have a resistance to the truth. Especially undeniable truths. Having a resistance to responsibility and maybe being highly irresponsible and resisting discipline. Being unprincipled. Having a victim mentality and blaming others for their problems or their situation in life. They justify manipulative or dishonest behavior. They are not in tune with their conscience and especially their soul. Because they avoid self-examination and resist moral structure, they often live in a chaotic way that leaves them unaware of how their own choices contribute to their difficulties. As a result, they can become directionless, stuck, or repeatedly in trouble along their path. People at this stage can be seen as antisocial, narcissistic, or chaotic in their behavior. This stage is not solely about bad behavior. It is about misaligned behavior. It is about resistance to truth and responsibility

Regardless of what they might say, most people at this stage are not religious or spiritual at all, as that would require them to submit or surrender to authority, a moral order, or a power greater than themselves. They resist and are not prepared to do this. They don’t lack a conscience, but they suppress it. They suppress their conscience, their intuition, and their soul. They ignore it. They rationalize around it. They resist or avoid the inner still small voice that calls them towards their higher selves. They can drift. They often react impulsively instead of pressing pause and then responding. By their actions, they can create conflict and sabotage their own peace, as well as that of others.

People at this stage can appear to care and be loving, but mainly in service of themselves. They manipulate for their own purposes. They are governed by their own will, and nothing else. And since their will can be subject to their feelings and emotions, their paths can be chaotic and unpredictable. But some can actually be self-disciplined in the pursuit of their own ambition. Many of them achieve some level of success. They acquire material things... They climb the ladders of success... But their lives are empty. Discovering that things come at a cost, and that their ladders have been leaning against the wrong walls.

Stage 2 – Formal / Institutional –

Stage 2 is not necessarily something to criticize. In fact so many of the characteristics of this stage are necessary and valuable. People at this stage are often dependable, predictable, disciplined, ethical, and responsible. They provide the infrastructure required for so many communities, churches, institutions, and families.

People at this stage tend to have a strong respect for authority, rules, and structure. They value order, discipline, and obedience, and they often have a clear sense of right and wrong. Their beliefs are typically literal and well defined. Their faith is frequently connected to an institution such as a religion, a church, a nation, a culture, or a cause, and they feel loyalty toward that institution or structure. The order and stability provided by these institutions give them a sense of security and safety, and they tend to trust the authority within those structures to define and interpret what is true. Their truth is mediated through trusted authority such as religious teachings, sacred texts, respected leaders, and established traditions. They trust this authority to interpret truth. The authority is their source.

They believe that structure is necessary in order to live a good life. They have what they believe are strong moral convictions and believe in defined truths that are unchanging. Their belief systems often emphasize clear doctrines and convictions, with definite answers and certainty. They emphasize the need for obedience to established teachings. Vagueness, uncertainty, and ambiguity are uncomfortable at this stage. People are very uncomfortable with change at this stage. For example, in some churches if a change in a ritual is proposed, or the introduction of a new hymn book, a change in worship procedure, a new pastor, or... heaven forbid, a change in ideology... that can lead to turmoil and even revolt in the congregation. When the very things that many of these people depend on to make sense of their world change, that can cause great discomfort. A characteristic of people at this stage is that they are dependent on something or someone outside of them to provide order, certainty, and safety for them in their lives. At Stage 1, people resist authority and structure, while at Stage 2 they embrace and rely on authority and structure. Movement to Stage 2 is a huge leap for many people at Stage 1.

I mentioned that any model of spiritual growth can be seen as a continuum where we advance (or regress) as we follow our paths. Consider how someone might advance from Stage 1 to Stage 2. This person may be someone who is unhappy with the results they are getting in their lives. Someone who has reached a point where they are not prepared to have things go on the way that they have been. They have the desire for change in their lives, and they are motivated to act on it. They are tired of chaos and misalignment. They know they must change. And when they finally do, it may be one of the most painful moments of their lives, as they leave the familiar... They let go of any preconceived notions that they had all the answers, and the problem was out there with someone else, and they step outside of their comfort zones. They are tired of the chaos and are looking for structure. They are looking for answers. It can be dramatic and happen suddenly. For example, someone all of a sudden becoming a born-again Christian, when they had no interest in religion before. It is as if they are willing to do anything to escape the chaos. They don’t trust themselves, so they surrender themselves to an external source for their guidance and safety. In many ways, this external source is exactly what they need after the lack of structure and misalignment of Stage 1.

Stage 3 – Skeptic / Individual –

Those who are in the third stage are often people who were once in Stage 2, but now they start to question the authority and rigidity of the institution of which they were a part. They become skeptics or doubters. They question the religion that they were part of, or maybe the church that they were attending. They may break away from the traditions of their culture and adapt traditions of another, or simply go their own way. They become more individualistic. Forming their own opinions and beliefs. Making sense of the world in their own way. They might be seen as a renegade or non-conformist to some people. They are more psychologically mature than those who are in Stage 2. They are not outcasts. Many are highly regarded, principled in many ways, and are an important part of society. Many are scientific-minded and academics. Expansive thinkers and compassionate humanitarians that contribute in many ways to society. Many are responsible and are great parents and citizens. They are truth-seekers, but it has to make sense to them. They are skeptical of anything that cannot be proven. They require empirical evidence that is measurable and verifiable. They also can simply be someone who has rejected religion but has not yet found deeper meaning elsewhere.

Stage 3 individuals reject what they see as bad religion but also can reject good spirituality. Many people at this stage become agnostic, atheist, or materialist. They are highly rational but spiritually closed. They have grown intellectually, while stepping away from any faith or faith traditions. Their beliefs must be personally examined and experienced, rather than simply inherited. A defining trait is independence of thought, but not moral superiority.

Stage 3 is often a necessary transition. People leave Stage 2 for many reasons. Some of the most common are that the rigidity of religion or other institutions stopped making sense. They witness obvious hypocrisy, and they cannot turn their heads to it. They have the need to think for themselves. They have grown, even though their growth doesn’t exactly fit the definition of spiritual. At this stage, many people are saying that they need to find out what actually is true, once and for all.

A misunderstanding that some people have of Stage 3, and a problem for some people who are there, is that they think that Stage 3 is the destination. That once there, then they have arrived. Many people in Stage 3 feel that they have finally woken up. They have questioned authority and broken free. They have rejected blind faith and formed their own opinions. They have exposed what they feel is hypocrisy and want no part of it. They are thinking independently and for themselves, and compared to the rigidity of Stage 2, this is freedom. And in many ways it is. But Stage 3 is not the final stage of spiritual development. It is a necessary passage.

The skepticism of Stage 3 can become a trap. Skepticism can become a form of rigidity. Many think that if it cannot be proven scientifically, then it must not be true. And then they close themselves off. People at this stage are very good at pointing out flawed thinking and exposing what they feel are weak arguments. They are good at pointing out what they feel is hypocrisy. Being analytical, they deconstruct. They tear down belief systems, and many don’t know what to build in their place.

So they can become overly and often permanently cynical and totally disengaged spiritually. They can be extremely intelligent but spiritually empty because skepticism alone cannot and does not provide meaning.

Stage 4 – Mystical / Communal –

This stage represents a mature form of spirituality. It integrates the questioning associated with Stage 3 with a renewed sense of faith, humility, and connection. People will tend to move from one stage to the next when they experience an awakening of some sort. The movement from Stage 3 to 4 usually happens when a person realizes something important. And that is that reason alone cannot answer the deepest questions of life. Such as... Why should I sacrifice for others? What gives life meaning? Why does truth matter? Why should I care about justice? Skepticism doesn’t resolve any of those questions. It keeps you on the sidelines and isolates you.

People who move forward to Stage 4 begin to discover mystery, humility, and deeper forms of faith. But without returning to the blind belief of Stage 2. They maintain both critical thinking and spiritual openness.

A way of looking at the pathway to spiritual growth is that at Stage 1 you are wandering and not knowing what to believe. Stage 2 tells you want to believe. Stage 3 is where you say that you will decide what the truth is. And Stage 4 is where you begin to realize that undeniable truths exist, whether you like it or not, and your task is to align yourself with them.

At Stage 4, people have moved through doubt into a deeper faith. Unlike those in Stage 2, which accepts authority without question, those in Stage 4 have gone through skepticism and questioning, and instead of staying in cynicism, they discover a deeper form of faith that is chosen rather than inherited or imposed. A faith that is humble where individuals remain self-aware and open to new information and ideas, versus a faith that is dogmatic and rigid, where minds remain unchanged, even when presented with contradictory evidence. Humility fosters learning and growth. Whereas dogmatism usually leads to closed minds. Stage 4 is spacious enough to live with mystery. Their faith is experienced rather than merely believed.

Stage 4 individuals no longer feel the need to force everything into rigid certainty. For the most part, they accept that life contains contradictions, paradoxes, and inconsistencies. They accept that some things cannot be fully explained. They believe that truth cannot always be reduced to rigid rules, slogans, or one-size-fits-all answers. Life is more complex and nuanced than all of that. Life is not just black and white. There are various shades of grey, and in fact all colors of the rainbow. Instead of demanding certainty, they live with curiosity and openness.

They see common ground across traditions, beliefs, and people. They recognize that many, and maybe most, religions point towards similar truths. They realize that everyone is on their own path, or their own journey, and are at different stages, and that everyone is just trying to figure it out, consciously or unconsciously, and that all humanity shares a deeper connection. We are all just walking each other home. As a result, they are less tribal and judgmental, and they are more inclusive.

Stage 4 people are more compassionate and empathetic. They are less concerned about being right, and tend to be more focused on love, service, and understanding. Their spirituality becomes lived, rather than argued. They have deep humility. They understand that their own perspective is limited and that they are still learning. They are always learning and growing. Learning and growth is continuous and never stops. Instead of certainty, they carry a reverence for life and truth. Their spirituality becomes integrated with daily life, and is reflected in how they treat others, their pursuit of truth, their sense of responsibility, and in their compassion and presence. It becomes their way of being.

Someone in Stage 4 has done the work and is still doing the work. They have asked hard questions of themselves and life. They have moved beyond rigid belief systems and past skepticism, and they live with a humble and compassionate faith that embraces mystery and recognizes unity and a common thread that connects and unites all humans, even in our differences. They live a transformed faith.

Those in Stage 4 have a belief in something greater than oneself, but it is a belief that is much different than what is experienced at Stage 2. It is not rigid or institutional. It is experiential, humble, and open to mystery.

There is a renewed belief in a higher power. Whether they call it God, The Divine, Source, The Universe, a Higher Consciousness, or a Guiding Intelligence. But unlike at Stage 2, they rarely claim to understand it. Instead of saying, “This is exactly how God works,” their approach is “There is something larger that is at work in my life, and I am learning to listen to it. People at Stage 4 describe life as if they are being guided, nudged, drawn towards something, and invited to grow in ways of subtle alignment. They notice meaningful coincidences, intuitive insights, and moments of clarity about what is right and what is true. I have described it before as listening to the still, small voice within us.

At Stage 2, people rely on an authority that is externalized to direct them and tell them what to do. With Stage 4, it is about forming a relationship with the higher power. There is personal responsibility, discernment, and an openness to being guided. It is less about obedience to rules, and more about aligning with truth and purpose. Faith and uncertainty live side by side. You recognize that there is still much that you don’t understand, and that is it much bigger than your own ability to explain. Stage 4 faith is less about certainty and more about trust.

It is about surrender. It is a willingness to align oneself with something greater than the ego. It is not passive surrender. It is conscious alignment. It is the surrender of the need to control everything and the need to be right. It is the surrender of the need to protect their identity and their worldview. But they do not surrender responsibility for their actions. They remain very engaged in what is going on in their lives. It is developing a posture of listening, discernment, and openness. Instead of forcing life, they ask questions like... What is life asking of me? What is the right thing? What is aligned with truth?

It is about cooperating rather than controlling. It is the willingness to participate in something much larger than yourself. And this is reflected in phrases such as... “Thy will be done” and “Not my will, but yours.” It is following the guidance of the spirit. Alignment with a greater power.

Because of this surrender, people feel a growing sense that they don’t have to force everything. That life has direction and meaning and that their role is to respond in faith. That doesn’t remove all difficulty, but it reduces the need to control outcomes, as you allow in and manifest your desires. Stage 2 tends to follow authority. Stage 4 responds to guidance.

Stage 4 individuals feel a strong sense that life is interconnected. That your actions, and what you say or do, matter. And that there is meaning in growth and struggle. They are not alone or isolated. They see themselves as part of something bigger that is unfolding.

Look at the journey to Stage 4 this way... After questioning everything, a person may discover a quiet faith. An awareness that there may be something greater than themselves guiding life. They do not claim to fully understand it, but they trust it. And they sense that when they live in truth and alignment with it, they are moving with the current, rather than against it. And that they will eventually get to where they are being guided.

Stage 4 is where the journey stops being about forcing your path. And it starts becoming about awareness and trust as you walk... The Crooked Path

Try These Exercises -

AfterNotes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZlU4IxiuHY Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash