Undeniable Truths and The Crooked Path
- jimhlifecoach
- Feb 21
- 18 min read
The Sound of Your Soul
There are parts of ourselves that sabotage us. There are parts of us that can get caught up in conditioned ideas. Conditioned ideas of safety, direction, judgment, and strength. Stories we have been told. Stories that we have been led to believe. Stories that we have morphed into. Paths that we have traveled that cause us to get caught up in someone else's playbook, or strategies that really are not who we are and cause us to focus on things that don’t serve us well.
But when you really connect with your shadows... Those areas of our lives that feel off...
Where we feel a sense of disconnect... Where we have settled... Where we experience conflict and dissonance... It is amazing to witness how those parts of you can no longer subconsciously control what you focus on and how you lead. They can no longer take the wheel and drive the car of your life. Once you truly tap into your self-awareness and do the work, you can’t unsee what has been shown to you. When you know your shadows, you can now see where your blindspots are. Those places where you can be led off course or blocked because of what your focus has been. You can see how your focus has been ineffective in many ways and where it has been misaligned. You find where you have been giving away your power. You begin to see your role in why things are the way they are in your life. Why you have the relationship issues. Why you are frustrated in your career. Why you are facing financial issues. Why you are simply unhappy with your life. You have played into certain patterns on repeat that never seem to give you the ease and alignment that you long to feel.
Once you are aware of and decide to challenge your shadows, you can’t unsee them. They are right there. Of course they have been there all along. They don't disappear. But once you truly see them, they lose their control over you. You allow them not to control you. You begin to realize that you have been acting from conditioning rather than your true gifts. You have been giving your power away. Where old patterns that don’t serve you have been quietly running the show, and in the process sabotaging your desires.
Our shadows aren’t something to fear. They hold the potential of what is waiting to emerge in you. Working on your shadows, and what your focus has been, isn’t about fixing yourself. It is about seeing your life so clearly that you are no longer leading your life from your blindspots. And when that happens, you lead more consciously. You relate more enthusiastically. And you create from your soul-level truth.
Seems As Though I've Lived My Life on the Bad Side of the Moon - from the song "Bad Side of the Moon" - Elton John / April Wine
An awakening of the soul happens when we finally confront our shadows. Life starts working in our favor when we allow this. When we take the opportunity to press pause and review our program, reassess it, and then rewrite it. It is like performing a refresh and a reboot on our operating system. We release the old and renew ourselves. When we realize that our focus, our comfort, and our old patterns have been distracting us from getting to where we want to go, that is when transformation begins. When you harmonize the part of you that desires something more, something better, or something more aligned, with the part of you that has no idea of the role that you have been playing in why you are stuck or off course, that is where transformation begins.
When your current focus is not working... When it is not giving you the results that you want
in your life, that is your sign that you need to shake things up. The old cannot get you to the new. The wrong focus cannot get you the desired results. You cannot resolve chronic underlying problems without changing your focus.
Think about the actual second creations in your life compared to the desired ones. Walk those second creations back to the first creations from which they flow. Your future arrives as the present. Your present focus, from which your actions, decisions, and habits flow, are the building blocks of your future self and your circumstances. Your second creations are a direct result of your first creations. And if you do not like what life is showing you, then you have to switch up your thinking. You have to examine what your focus is. Nothing changes unless you change something. The same focus will not produce different results.
For the most part, our focus is multi-faceted. We are influenced by so many different things in our lives, and we are a product of all of them. And as our focus fluctuates from family to career, to our health, to our friends, to our money, and then maybe back to ourselves... It can feel like we are on some wild ride. We get out of balance. We react. We become a jack of all trades, but a master of none. There is no steady and dependable feeling of safety, direction, judgment, or strength. We forget, and perhaps we never knew, who we were. We forget and have no idea who we are.
It is important to have a focus that is aligned and congruent from which we can draw a consistent and reliable level of safety, direction, judgment, and strength. So that no matter where we are, who we are with, whatever our situation or activity might be, or whatever we might be facing, we act with integrity and character and bring alignment to every aspect and every corner of our lives.
It is a mind-shifting and awakening experience when you realize that two people can look at
the same thing and see things differently, yet both be correct. They are both correct based on the lens that they are looking through. The classic example is the glass of water that is either half full or half empty. How ever someone sees that glass of water is correct based on the lens that they are looking through. And that is their truth. People have their own truths. But it is important to understand that there is only one truth.
The one truth is objective reality. In the case of the glass of water, the one truth is that the glass contains water at fifty percent of its capacity. That is a fact and it cannot be denied or argued. Someone’s individual truth is really their perspective. And a person’s perspective is their interpretation of reality. Both people are accurately observing the same fact, but through different lenses. Saying that there is only one truth does not deny perspective. It simply acknowledges that reality exists, independent of anyone’s feelings, stories, or interpretations. And multiple viewpoints and interpretations can coexist without changing the reality itself. And here is the key... Growth will often require that you move closer to the truth rather than justifying what you see through your own lens.
Truth answers the question... What is? Perspective answers the question... What does this mean to me? Problems arise when individual perspectives and interpretations are mistaken for the truth, when feelings are regarded as facts, and when our lenses go unexamined and are too rigid. When people confuse perspective with truth, they stop questioning their assumptions. They become defensive instead of curious. Dialogue can quickly turn into an argument. And personal responsibility quietly erodes. There are consequences for denying the truth.
The consequences aren’t punishments. They are simply natural outcomes that result from denying the truth. You see, truth doesn't need our permission to exist. It doesn’t need our agreement. The truth just is. You can disagree with it, twist it, ignore it, or rationalize it away... But the truth doesn’t change. You can deny gravity, but you still won’t float away. You can deny that you are in debt, but the numbers don’t lie. You can deny your relationship issue, but you continue to argue. Truth doesn’t argue back. It simply waits and as you deny it, the truth becomes undeniable.
Can You Handle the Truth?
Denying the truth often feels helpful at first. In the short-term, denial can reduce discomfort, protect your identity or ego, put off hard decisions that need to be made, and preserve the story that you have been telling yourself. But denying the truth is living on borrowed time. It is putting off the inevitable.
When we deny the truth, we don’t escape it. We drift out of alignment. And the
misalignment shows up as the results we get in our lives. It shows up as frustration or resentment, repeated problems, lack of direction, finger-pointing and blaming, a victim mentality, or the overall feeling that something is simply off, even if you can’t name it. Many people will think that they are stuck because life is unfair, when in reality they are negotiating with something that isn’t negotiable.
Perspective is powerful when it helps us face the truth, but it becomes dangerous when it helps us avoid it. Optimism that avoids reality becomes delusion. Empathy that excuses reality becomes enabling. Self-compassion that refuses responsibility to the truth becomes stagnation. You don’t get to choose whether truth affects you. You only get to choose if you acknowledge it early or pay for it later.
Denying the truth is often the first step toward forcing a path that is misaligned. Acknowledging truth... Especially uncomfortable truths... Is usually the first step back onto a path that leads you towards somewhere worthwhile, aligned with your True North.
Focus is like a steering mechanism. Your focus determines what you notice, what you ignore, the decisions that you justify, and the actions that you repeat. If your focus is not grounded in truth, then your steering will be off, even if you have the best intentions. You don’t usually veer off path all at once. You drift. And drifting often starts with a misplaced focus. Think of it this way... A jet flying from New York to Paris that is just one degree off course will miss its target by approximately 60 miles or 100 kms. By not focusing on the true route even slightly, the plane will go off course, and without corrective action will not get to its desired destination. And the same goes for us when it comes to the results we want in our lives. The misalignment can be subtle, but it can result in major differences in the results we get compared to what we desire.
If your focus is based on avoidance (I don’t want to face this yet), blame (It is their fault. If they changed, then I would be fine), fantasy (This will work itself out somehow), or fear (I can’t face this right now), that is when you will tend to experience feeling stuck, off course, and keep putting in increased effort with diminished returns.
If you are focused on your career to avoid the problems that you are having at home with your spouse, or you are focused on yourself and blaming everyone else for your problems, or focused on pleasure... partying, drinking, indulging, and escaping... Thinking that somehow and some way things will work out. Or you are focused on a friend, your spouse, or someone else who perhaps feels safe because of your fear of facing that person in your life that you don’t get along with... All of that will keep you stuck.
... And The Truth Will Set You Free - John 8:32
When your focus is grounded in truth, and in what actually is... Even when it is uncomfortable... You deal with clear constraints that lead to what is possible and flags what is not possible. You make better decisions. There is less wasted energy. And you make forward motion, even if it may be slow and gradual. Truth strengthens your direction. Truth doesn't guarantee an easy path, but in will guarantee an honest one. Alignment with truth may feel harder at first, but it becomes easier when you no longer are fighting it. The truth really does set you free.
Then what should our focus be? How can we have that focus that is aligned and congruent from which we can draw a consistent and reliable level of safety, direction, judgment, and strength?
There are truths that exist that we cannot deny. For example, there is gravity in the external world. You don’t have to believe in gravity for it to work. But ignore it and the consequences will show up. That is an undeniable truth. There are other undeniable natural truths as well... The cyclical nature and the law of the seasons and the Law of the Harvest. You can deny them all you want, but they are still there. The truth still applies, and it is best to work with those truths and not against them for the best results in our lives.
Similarly, there is gravity for our inner lives. Things that apply and hold true for all of us, and I call these Undeniable Truths. I list some of them here... Love, Peace, Acceptance, Abundance, Forgiveness, Tolerance, Kindness, Generosity, Fairness, Justice, Equality, Empathy, Compassion, Optimism, Hope, Faith, Support, Alignment, Congruence, Altruism, Service, Integrity, and Character. You can imagine others. This list is not exhaustive.
What makes these truths “undeniable” isn’t that everyone agrees with them, but that life
enforces them. Someone can deny compassion, integrity, fairness, or alignment all they want… but their relationships, inner peace, sense of meaning, and even their mental health will quietly deteriorate over time as a result. You can reject them in theory... You can violate them by not practicing them... But you cannot escape the consequences of doing so.
These truths are not external rules that come down with punishment. They are innate codes that already exist inside of us. They already exist in the blueprint that has been placed in us by the Creator. In our souls. They are structural requirements for wholeness. And when someone constantly violates them, they become internally divided or misaligned, their character erodes, their aura diminishes, trust disappears, and peace is replaced with defensiveness, fear, or control. And this isn’t because of what anyone else has done. It is self-generated through misalignment. This is what happens when we are not in alignment with our soul.
When we act in alignment, and with congruence, integrity, and character... Our inner world and our outer actions agree. When you live against these truths, the first thing that you lose isn’t success or status. You lose your inner unity. You lose yourself. And as humans, we can tolerate a lot. But sustained inner division eventually breaks us.
Life Constantly Gives Us Feedback
We don’t suffer because these truths don’t work. We suffer because they do work. It is not that life is unfair. It is that life is honest. Life reflects back exactly how aligned, or misaligned, we are with these truths. A lack of peace reveals inner conflict. A lack of meaning reveals a disconnection from service or purpose. Emptiness reveals a life centered on self rather than contribution. Resentment reveals a lack of forgiveness or tolerance. Life is constantly giving us feedback.
These undeniable truths are recognized and consistent across cultures and across most faiths. They all circle the same center, which suggests that these truths are not invented. They are discovered. They are already within us. Humans did not invent them. We experience, affirm, and then uncover them already inside of us. And then the key is to live them. Living in opposition to these truths is self-sabotage and ultimately results in self-fracture. We cannot break the truth. We can only break ourselves when we live in denial of the truth.
The Truth Is Out There
Undeniable truths define the aligned path. You will find them all along the path of alignment. They mark the way. They are the reference points against which we can tell whether we are on or off course. They are the standard by which the path is measured. The path doesn’t change. It already exists. We are the ones who change.
I think of my own focus at different times along my own path... The sources of my safety, direction, judgment, and strength... And how being misaligned caused problems on my own journey. Here are just a few examples.
Family Focus – Believing the scripting that was handed to me as a child. Wanting to please my parents and be accepted. Not questioning some of the ideals and beliefs that were taught and held as true in my family until well into adult life, even in the face of evidence to the contrary, and alternate and even more aligned views. Experiencing conflicts when it came to family traditions and opinions, especially once I married. Feeling torn between my family of origin and my married family and in-laws.
Spouse Focus – Being highly sensitive to my wife's mood. Many of my decisions were based and contingent on what she wanted, and many of my own decisions and desires would be overridden by her. My perspective would be influenced by that of her and her family. As a result, I would often end up distanced from my own family.
Career Focus – Once my career started gaining momentum, I felt more affirmed and appreciated there, especially when things weren’t great at home. I felt free there and could express myself in ways that I could not at home. My wife really wasn’t interested in what I did at work other than the pay cheque that I brought home. At work, I had friends and colleagues that I related to. We saw things at the same level. Basically, I was getting fulfillment at work that I was not getting at home.
Things would take a turn for the worse at work later in my career and coupled with issues that were occurring at home, that resulted in identity issues, and not knowing where to turn.
Things Focus – I liked to have nice things in my life within my means. We had it drilled into us as we were growing up not to go into debt. Don’t purchase what you can’t afford. Live within your means. Pay off your credit card balance each month. Save your money. That is how my family lived. But we also didn’t do without. My family had an abundance mentality. We were generous with each other and with others. Friends and family were always welcome at our home.
I carried that mentality with me and liked to have nice things. Not just for me, but for my family. But I was often in conflict with my wife. If I wanted to purchase something, not just for me, but for the family, she made it much more difficult than it needed to be and often would veto many of my desires.
Even when things were good in our marriage, I would sneak purchases for myself. Small things, like adding to my CD collection or purchasing some piece of clothing. I started having a preference for some of the finer things in life. I liked to dress well, and actually was what some might call a GQ man. As my marriage got more strained, I would get some relief from my things. She would constantly monitor my expenditures on our credit card statement and question them. That led me to making purchases with cash and eventually I got a credit card that she was not aware of, to make the odd purchase. I felt guilt, as I knew this was introducing dishonesty into our relationship, but I also justified it, believing that she was being unreasonable. Either way, there was incongruence which really was a symptom of relationship issues we were having.
Self-Focus – During the darkest time of my life I became very self-focused. I was in survival mode. I was all over the map looking for a life preserver. My judgement was way off. I would purchase something simply because I wanted it, without real consideration of my other financial commitments. Really the world was closing in on me at times. It was a dark time that I will write about one day. I was way off path at the time. And my focus on self was no help.
And these were just some of the ways that I found myself stuck or off course. The needle on my internal compass was constantly spinning. In every case, I knew that my actions were misaligned, they were not sustaining, and changes would have to be made. So often when we are in those situations, even when we decide to make changes, it is not the best move, and it is not enough. They are quick fixes or short-term solutions. Without a change in focus and mindset, sustained long-term change cannot take place. The foundation is not there.
We are so easily distracted. And not only that... We get exhausted and overwhelmed in ways that we don’t even have the words for. We look for quick fixes and short cuts to achieve the answers to our problems and the life of our dreams. And then we end up unsatisfied, frustrated and we wonder why, when things don’t work out the way that we would like. And that just adds to our feeling of being overwhelmed, and causes us to settle. Or at the other end of the spectrum, we react. We overreact. And that just makes the situation worse. We end up focusing on those things that keep us off track.
When we keep looking through the same old lens, we don’t question what we see. We become short-sighted. We develop tunnel vision. We don’t pay attention to any other paths other than the one that we are on. We disregard those options that are often right in front of us, and we continue to trip and to stumble.
We are formed by our own truths. Whether we realize that or not, our focus shapes our habits, our environments, our relationships, our results, and our paths. In a world full of hustle and distraction we can so often lose our way. Again, it is not that we are bad people. For the most part, we are all well-intentioned. It is just that we are misaligned.
Think again of the Triangle of Change. Desire alone is not enough. Desire and Motivation
together are not enough. You need to take aligned Action. It is not a matter of pushing harder, trying harder, or striving harder. It is a matter of pressing pause. Becoming aware of all of the distractions that are unconsciously shaping you and then consciously choose a focus that finally aligns you on the path that is meant for you. You choose that focus at the desire stage. It all starts at desire, when you feel that nudge, and where you reevaluate actions that you have taken and the results that you are getting. The real danger of distraction isn’t that it just keeps us stuck or off course. The real danger is that it keeps you from the path that is meant for you. That path is already there. You just have to find it and align with it.
And to do that you need presence. You need to be present with yourself, so that you can get in touch with your soul and what it is saying to you. The best thing that you can do is maybe not eliminating distraction... Let’s face it... Distractions are a fact of life. They come no matter what. But you have to take the time and have the ability to look in the mirror and look at yourself and the results you are getting, and be accountable and take responsibility for those things in your life that you have control over.
So many things have happened to you along the way. Things will continue to happen to you. Things that you don’t deserve. Things that are unfair. But there are going to be things that happen because of you. So many things that you have control over. Things that you can choose to experience or not experience. So many of our problems and so much of our pain is self-inflicted. And you need to be able to ask yourself... In what ways am I self-sabotaging? We end up in toxic relationships, in the wrong career, with the wrong people, in financial trouble, and on the wrong path because we don’t look in the mirror and ask ourselves what our role is in how all of these things happen.
You have to realize that the common denominator in all of these experiences is you. It is not that you deserved the bad relationships, the problems, and the trauma... But what did you do to prevent it? To stop it, take responsibility for it, and make changes to avoid similar occurrences in the future. We can start to stop the dysfunction and misalignment when we press pause and return to ourselves. Accountability will change your life.
It is time to get aligned with undeniable truths. They define a path that is aligned. Your first step is the decision to do just that. To acknowledge that these truths exist and then take steps to integrate them into your focus and your everyday life. People may argue about the exact definition of these truths and how they might be manifested, but you cannot argue that they exist.
Imagine the benefits of having a focus that is based on undeniable truths and the right infrastructure that provides your source of safety, direction, judgment, and strength.
When you have such a focus, your Safety comes from truths that do not change, unlike other focuses based on things or other people that are changeable. Things break. They can be taken away. People can be fickle and they are unpredictable. But undeniable truths are solid. They are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. They are always there. We can rely on that.
Undeniable truths don’t react. They respond with natural consequences. We know what we are going to get when our focus is based on undeniable truths. We don’t know the exact result, but we know how we will feel. They affirm us when we act consistent with them, and they teach us lessons when we don’t. When they are the common denominator in our focus, we know that we are on the right path. We may not know the exact destination, or how long it will take, but we can be comfortable knowing that our path is aligned.
As we encounter situations and people that seem to ignore these truths, we can stand strong, and as we do that, we stand out. Our light shines, and our Aura of Impact expands. And we see these truths affirmed in our lives. We may not win each battle, but we will win the war. The war in our own minds knowing that we have acted with integrity, consistent with what we believe and with what matters most. The more that we learn about these truths, the more that we can align with them. Always being aware of, and taking responsibility for, our own growth. Undeniable truths don’t change, but our comprehension and mastery of them does.
Our Direction and Judgment is clear when we focus on undeniable truths. We see things the way that they are, taking all variables into account. We make judgments and decisions based on facts. We gather Strength through undeniable truths, along with certainty and confidence. We have the strength of character. We also have the strength and humility to acknowledge our mistakes when we are wrong, and not just to consider all variables involved, but to consider all individuals, all parties and all stakeholders. To see all of these things not just as they are, but how they can become. And to apologize sincerely and take corrective action, when what we say or what we do is hurtful to someone else. These truths are the basis for personal and interpersonal leadership.
Your focus and your mindset are the source through which everything else flows. It is the lens through which you see everything. When you look at your path through the lens of undeniable truths, you will be seeing things with 20/20 vision. Everything becomes much clearer. No more rose-colored glasses. No more dark shades. No more myopia. No more blurred vision.
As someone who is focused on undeniable truths, you view things differently. And when you view things differently, you reflect, anticipate, and think differently, and then you respond differently. And people see that. They are drawn to that, and your influence expands. All because you have a grounded and sound foundation based on undeniable truths that do not change. You have an abundance of safety, direction, judgment, and strength that flows consistently and causes you to shine and lights your way as you travel aligned... On the Crooked Path.
Try These Exercises -
AfterNotes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR8D2yqgQ1U True - Spandau Ballet
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